How fight starts b/t Husband & Wife

All the married ones, have a good laugh and all those eligible bachelors, beware, How fight starts b/t Husband & Wife

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 100 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started...

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
So, I took her to a petrol bunk
And then the fight started...

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

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A woman is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'And then the fight started..... .

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Kingfisher for 500 rs.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for 300 rs.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream..
And then the fight started....

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

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When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed..
But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first:
the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.
When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'
And then the fight started...

New SMS Jokes, Sardar jee jokes

Principal: agar koi larka girls hostel mai gaya
to first time 100 Rs fine hoga, 2nd time 200 fine
& 3rd time 500.
Students: Sir, membership kitnay ki hogi?

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Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye?
Son: Mujhe chand jai si biwi chahiye,
Jo raat ko aaye aur subha chali jaye!

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Sardar g tanu kadi kisi nal pyar ni hoya?
yaar hoya ty hy likin o mundi, bus ena kendi aa
” I love U”. pata nahi ullu da patha “U” kon aa?

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A sardar was running with his pregnant wife,
who was about to deliver,
when another sardar asked him, O pernam singh, oye moti nu
aise haal vitch le ke kithey bhag rahe ho?
pernam singh replied,
assi Pizza hut chaley aan, sunya aa othey
free delivery hondi aaa.

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sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari mushkil main hoon
meri bivi mujh say aik kiss ka 100 RS laiti hay.
friend: acha, yar to bara lucky hay
doosron say to wo 500rs laiti hay.

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Evolutin of main:
shadi k pehle : i love u
shadi k baad : aaj phir alu
shadi k pehle : Hero no1
shadi k baad: coolie no1
shadi k pehle : mein ne piyar kiya
shadi k baad : ye mein ne kiya kiya?
shadi k pehle : janeman mut jao,
shadi k baad : jaan mut khao
shaadi k pehle : tum bin raha na jay
shaadi k baad : tum ko saha na jay
shadi k pehle : kuch to bolo
shadi k baad : kabhi chup bhi ho jaya karo.
shadi k pehle : tum kab aaogi?
shadi k baad : mayke kab jaogi?

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Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

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Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant it’s already raining.
Sardar: So what? Take an umbrella and go

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Sardar- why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar- If only the winner will get the cup,
why r others running?

Little Jhonny Jokes makes me smile and this time Little Jhonny is kidding with her teacher

I received this funny joke on my mail and i would like to share the desperation of that student with my readers.
Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge ?

(Little Jhonny)Student: shaadi..!!!!!!

Teacher: nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?.....

Student: dulha.!!!!!!!!!!!

Teacher: oh, i mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?

Student: dulhan

Teacher: IDIOT mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?

Student- bahu laaunga

Teacher: stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hai?

Student: pota

Teacher: he bhagwan, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?

Student: hum do humare do. Ha Ha

Don't copy if you can't paste

A well-known motivational speaker
gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my
life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife !"

The crowd was shocked!!!!!!!!



He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"

The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well received.

About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training
decided to use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in
his head. It was a bit foggy to him.

He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!"

Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second
half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't
remember who she was !"

As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste